Dear mom #8

I haven't blogged in a while. I write letters as if I could write to my mother, unedited, final copy. Most people probably don't read them. That's OK, I write them for myself. Today I was going to write about parenting with a teenager.
  That can be kind of difficult at times. My kid is more of the unsocial kind. He is working on trying to have friends over but his timing is often bad. Plus I have this thing about wanting to meet the parents. When I had a birthday party for him at Cocomo Joe's none of the parents stayed to watch. That made it impossible for me to go to the bathroom till one parent came at the end. I had met her briefly before. There was one kid (keep in mind these were sixth graders) who didn't know how or just wouldn't stay where you asked him. I had to go out to the cars as parents came up to meet them. Aren't they lucky I am not a psychopath.
    Well, back on topic. This morning wasn't that much of a dilemma. Caleb just wanted to push buttons as typical. Oh mom, I wonder what you would think of your grandson if you knew him.
     He was trying to explain to me about participation grades. Too him it seemed like all the kids just had to scribble or not down numbers. I knew even public schools expected more than that. I told him that didn't make sense to me and he must be mistaken. I was trying to explain to him that fro! His perspective he might be missing something important. I am not in the school but I did have my experiences from when I was. Then he proceeds to tell me he doesn't appreciate my rantings. Wait, mom did my kid just say that? Hello, these are not rantings when I am trying to help him understand something. I told him later we can work on how to respond in a kinder way if I am trying to explain something to him. I asked him to apologize and he did.
     He is at that age he is unsure of what is nice or not and he goes to say he thinks I am too picky. I did get a hold of the woman in the office on the phone to ask her about participation grades. She explained, in a nice way, that there is a difference between participation grades and homework grades. Participation grades are actually how often does a child raise a hand to answer questions as well as helping in group activities. I knew there was more to it then what Caleb was thinking.
   There is always more to a story then one perspective. Now, I do encourage him to be his own person and to like his own things. I wonder how I was with that. You only had me till I was ten, but I bet I wasn't easy. He often says I like boring things like books and museums. There he goes again with his negative approach. I need to explain to him you don't have to like what someone else likes but there are kinder ways to go about it.
   I am grateful for one child. I might go insane if I had multiple. I do think kids are great. I am a bit lenient with him. I want him to feel comfortable to tell me anything. We need patience to work on his approach. I know I can ramble a lot, but I hope there was humor in here too. Lol

-Wendy B.

Dear mom Happy mothers day #7

       Mother's day is on Sunday the 8th of 2016 this year. Caleb is 13 now. I bought him his first Bible. It's a brown leather one. I can teach him how to use it. Cause what is great about the Bible is it is a book you do not have to read in order.

  Something's I have been learning about myself I wonder how much of me I am like you? I am realizing I do not take constant criticism well. I am a very sensitive person. It is one thing if people are critical once in a while but on going it gets over whelming & then I feel as if I can never measure up to certain expectations. I also love my animals very much. I remember when you did not want us to get a dog but my dad did still anyway. I get very defensive if people complain about how much I talk about my pets or about how much attention I give them. I think my dog grew on you. I remember my grandmother always has pets or almost always. I saw pictures of her when she was younger with collies. Maybe I get my enjoyment of that from her.
   I can not stand scary movies. I watched It a couple of times when I was younger but I am very sensitive to what I watch. That is one other thing I am learning about myself as a highly sensitive person. I can't help but wonder what you thought of scary movies?
    I often wonder what we would do together if we celebrated mothers day? Would we go to the movies & see something inspiring or would we go to the park? I have learned I have a bit of a sense of adventure even if it is not extreme. I know you had health problems so long hikes probably wouldn't be your thing. I remember one year getting you a candy rose. Things get so fuzzy with those memories sometimes.
  I also wonder what kind of relationship we would have? I wonder if we would be close & silly almost like sisters or if it would be very serious. I know my grandmother was very serious and of course she was nice. I try to be silly with my son. I don't do a very good job of not taking things personally hence more of the issues of being highly sensitive. I do my best to have fun with him. I think this year my little family is going to El maguey for lunch. It's a nice little Mexican restaurant. I wish you a happy mother's day in heaven. I do know you are in a better place!!!

Love, Wendy

Dear mom #6 to Ecuador & back

Dear mom,
     I did it!!! I went, I saw, helped & conquered!!! For some reason most of my life I spend it wondering what if I could. I should be saying when will I just? Trying to find those people who believe in me is hard. I am learning just how big a God I serve!!! We should have confidence to be able to witness what a great God we have!!!! I make mistakes along the way of course.
    The main point was Ecuador!!! Now I really know what it means to pray for others!! Especially others I don't know. I think growing up we pray like Jesus is a genie but sometimes even as an adult we pray that way too! Example, if so & so just liked me. Or if I could have that toy. Or if I could just be popular. We often pray for superficial things. It is important to pray for people to come to the Lord. Even when we become Christians we make mistakes.
   Ecuador was the most amazing place to learn about others especially in Santana. They live in huts there. We stayed there for three days & two nightThe weather was fabulous by the way!!! If you kept walking it wasn't so hot & plenty of water. One lady hosted us to let us stay in her extra hut. We ate regular food, nothing off the wall. That was a big worry. I am not a fan of chilli but I had some there. So that was the only out of the ordinary thing for me. There was definitely a language barrier. I know very little Spanish. Some of us after church played a hand game with the girls there. That was very memorable & I hope to never forget!!!
    I really enjoyed Banos & Quinto too!   I wish I had done the swing but did a spa time instead. I enjoyed the spa!!! $25 for an hour, not bad!!! We prayed & sang at the top of the mountain. That was breath taking!!!! Three of my favorite days so far: giving birth, wedding day & Banos view from the mountain!!!! I also saw the Basilica in Quinto. That was the most walking we did. Most everything we were bused as close as possible for me that is a good thing! I got stuck on the last day. I missed everything from church to the last shopping day. I had to sleep in the lobby aso I didn't get others sick. Then I crashed for a few hours at one of the families houses that hosted things who are a part of our church. I really enjoyed time with Sandi. She was awesome!!! It is hard to find women like her who are encouraging & not condemning. Some plans had to be changed I think cause of the volcano issues & it was amazing when we drove past one! Maybe one day I can go back. I just remember thinking before leaving I probably won't. That was a lot of fear talking though & not more trusting in God. Plans are scary, but I got over that just like any other thing. Not sure who to give photo credit too. I'm in the middle in the front.

Dear mom #5 (Ecuador & the married life)

Dear mom,
       I wonder when you were raising me if you ever thought I'd do big things & see the world? I hope you did. I wonder even more if you thought I had what it takes to go on a missions trip? Here I am writing about where I am going to go coming very soon, Ecuador (Quito, Lasso, Banos).
      I have learned this is more than learning about their culture. That will be a big culture shock for me cause of my city life. I will be able to take what I have been learning at church and applying it to a place I have never been. This trip is not about me, it's about them. I am very curious as to what to expect.
      So many things if only I had the chance to tell you. I think it is OK to be nervous. How would I take it if you didn't approve? People pleasing can be a trap. This note is in no way to get sympathy or anything out of it other than a way of expressing how I wish I could talk to you about it.
      I do know a challenge is going to be that I won't be able to spend much time w/ my husband. Men & women sleep in different areas. There probably won't be time for naps. In the jungle we need a sheet & or a light blanket & a pillow. Are we sleeping outside or inside? I do not know Spanish. I have an agenda packet w/ some helpful phrases. Will bringing a camera be too touristy? Maybe I could bring a smaller one if I could find one. I am going to leave my cell phone & tablet at home. That is hard cause I am addicted to them.
      This is not a typical tourism trip. There will actually be hard work envolved. There will be different types of foods. It is polite to eat as much as you can of theirs. I just wonder if we will be building something or painting things. I wonder how communication will be? I talk a lot, especially if I am nervous. So we Lea e Easter Sunday & get back on my birthday.
        I have so much to learn about this trip. I can't help but wonder what you would think of it all.

-Wendy Barbarick